Welcome, Lee. Pull up a chair. No, try this one, much more comfy. Coffee's ready. Can I pour you a cup? Milk? Sugar? First let's look at the gorgeous cover of Lee's new book.
Living in a Fantasy World
*waves* Hi, all. I’m Lee Brazil author of m/m romance for Breathless Press and The Story Orgy. *sips coffee* I live on Face Book in between writing. Why? Cause it makes writing less a solitary vocation. I have a myriad of friends with different interests and different perspectives, and we can have a lot of engaging conversations or just plain old fashioned fun. I find that having that outlet lets me refresh and go back to writing with enthusiasm.
And...sometimes, they give me something to think about that blossoms into something like this blog post.
A while ago Jean posted a hypothetical question in one of our writing groups. Here's the scenario. You're out to lunch. Across the room you see the significant other of a close friend, dining intimately with someone. Do you tell your friend? The implication, of course is that the SO is cheating on your friend.
On the surface it seems to be a yes or no question. Gut instinct tells me it's not. I thought briefly about it. And honestly, if I saw a man I knew lunching with a stranger in a public place, I'd just walk right up to the couple and say hi. If I knew the man's partner, especially if he were my friend, I'd probably ask how he's doing and suggest we all get together soon. Someone called my response an "affair killer". Maybe. But, anyone who is trying to hide what they're doing probably shouldn't be having lunch in a public place.
In retrospect, while that might be my first response, it kind of avoids the question being asked. The question really is, if you know your friend's lover is cheating on him, do you tell him?
That's more difficult. See, your friend is living in a fantasy world. He's in love with his partner, or thinks he is. He probably thinks his relationship is all roses and red wine and two heads on a pillow. He's looking at the world through rose colored glasses, and anyone who's ever been in love can tell you, those glasses make the world a very fine place. They make plain men beautiful, paupers princes, and flaws cute.
Without the glasses, the rose means I'm sorry I'm giving you this single flower because I feel guilty about something I'm doing. With the glasses, it means I love you, you're perfect, we belong together. With the glasses, the red wine is just the perfect little touch to an evening meal, the buzz on the ending of another day together. Without the glasses? The red wine clouds his judgment. He's so buzzed, he can't see clearly. The two heads on a pillow? Well...they're just sleeping tonight. *sips coffee*
Still, wearing those glasses, your friend is happy. Do you have the right to rip that away? Don't you want him to be happy?
What if you tell him, and he doesn't believe you?
Or...worse. What if you tell him, and he gets mad at you for butting into his relationship? I mean, you don't know all the parameters of this couple's relationship dynamic. What if he already knows and doesn’t care? What if they have an open relationship? It's none of your business, is it? You risk coming off looking like an interfering busy body by talking to your friend.
And, there's one bottom line here. Your friend is going to get hurt living in that fantasy world. Surely that can't be good for him? Eventually, he's going to find out, and then...You'll have to pick up the pieces, maybe share a pitcher of margaritas or a gallon of moose track ice cream.
But...here's my take. Let him have the fantasy, as long as it lasts. Sooner or later, if there's a problem, he's going to figure it out. At least then, after the margaritas and the ice cream, he'll have the fantasy to look back on. Don't rip off the band aid, don't steal his rose colored glasses. Just be there when he loses them.
That's what I'd do. What about you?
I hope you can take a few minutes to check out my March release, Loving Eden.
A little bit about the book
Eden St. Cyr wants to let the boy who's crushing on him down easy.Drew Harris wants to protect his son from what he considers a
disastrous relationship.
Neither of them counted on being attracted to the other.
Eden St. Cyr has wandering feet. He shuffles around the country from place to place and college to college, changing majors and lovers at whim. When Bailey Harris starts following him home, mooning around and showing signs of affection, Eden hatches a plan to let the kid down lightly before he leaves for the next semester, the next college, and the next lover.
Drew Harris is stunned at the changes in his son. His responsible dependable, cheerful boy has become a moody despondent, irresponsible teenager. Drew knows exactly who to blame, too. When Eden doesn’t return his phone calls, he's forced to be a little more devious in his plans to get the bad influence out of his son's life.
An unexpected attraction derails both men from their plans, but when Bailey walks in at the least appropriate time, can things be put right?
EXCERPT
"You're one of Bailey's friends? I'm Drew, his Dad." The man asked, reaching down and picking up Eden's back pack.
"Yes," He mumbled in reply, striving to fight down the shivers of arousal that rippled through him with the deep voice. The effect from the answering machine was magnified in person. That voice was a caress in itself, stroking over his body, making him tingle with awareness.
"Let me show you where you'll be sleeping. I'm putting you in with Bailey. Sorry I can't stay and talk, but I've got to get down to the market in town and pick up some supplies for our weekend."
Eden willingly followed the man into the house and down a short hallway. Bailey's dad opened a door and gestured into the room. "Here you go. People should be arriving soon, but I hope to be back before anyone else gets here."
Eden stepped up to the doorway inadvertently brushing against that hard muscled body as he did so. Heat seared through his thin T-shirt and gooseflesh prickled his arms. He bit his lip to keep the moan inside, just nodding his head, too afraid that his arousal would show to speak. He ducked his head and made to move into the room, when a hard warm hand closed around his upper arm. He found himself turned to face Bailey's dad, and looked up into puzzled blue eyes.
"We'll talk later, yes?" The man asserted. Eden was trapped in the depths of those deep blue eyes and unable to utter a response. A big, calloused hand came up to cup Eden's jaw, thumb rubbing gently over the two-day growth of beard he hadn't bothered to shave. Shaking his head, Drew began to speak again but then his head tilted slightly to the side and his lips came down. Eden caught his breath in surprise. Surely Bailey's dad wasn't going to kiss him?
But he was. Warm dry lips pressed to his own briefly, sliding a little to the side, nipping lightly at his own lower lip. The gentle kiss swept right across his mouth in a brief warm touch that left him craving more. It had barely begun before Drew pulled away. Wow. Pressing his fingers to his still tingling lips, Eden stared after the handsome man who'd shown him his room. Definitely scrapping plan A for this weekend.
Sound good?
BUY LINK
Let's get to know Lee a little better
I’m an avid reader and former teacher of grammar and composition who believes that falling in love is the grandest adventure anyone can have. In a nutshell, that’s every story I have to tell.
Relocating from the crazy pace of life in Southern California's Orange County to the beautiful and leisurely atmosphere of the Illinois countryside has given me the time to indulge the desire to write that I set aside when I started teaching fourteen years ago. Readers can find out more about me and my writing by visiting me at my blog, Lee's Musings or finding me on Facebook. Feel free to drop me a line at lee.brazil@ymail.com
12 comments:
Thanks for having me on here, Jean! Very interested in hearing what everyone thinks about this hypothetical scenario!
It's a pleasure to have you here, Lee. And like you, I'm anxious to hear people's reponses.
I'm with you. If I see someone I know out in public, I'll wave and say hi, then mind my own business, esp if they introduce the other person.
UNLESS s/he pulls me aside and tells me 'don't tell my spouse/SO', I have no reason to suspect it's not on the up and up. That speculation 'Oooh, there's so-and-so with a stranger; I wonder if he's cheating?' only leads to rumors, whispers, and being uncomfortable when you do see that person with his/her SO. Be up front about the fact you saw that person and ask PRIVATELY about it. Then, depending on where your loyalites lie, do the confrontation with the cheater: Give them a deadline to come clean before you blow the whistle.
My 2 cents for the day:)
Sorry; my inner social worker took over!
Love the premise of this book and enjoyed the excerpt!
First, I think you can't assume that the lunch is anything but innocent. People eating in public don't tend to be hiding things, at least on the surface. If they are, perhaps its because they wish to be caught. By all means, say hello. You can casually say to your friend, Oh, I saw your sweetie today, while I was out at lunch, or something like that. Don't imply anything, let him make all the inferences and decide if he wants to do more.
Great blog!
Molly and Julie-
Awesome- yes we should presume innocence until guilt is proven, shouldn't we?
Strange that it so often works the other way around!
I would tell my friend in a nice way such as "I saw your SO at lunch today. It was so nice to see him/her. Not telling your friend would hurt them more in the end, but you can't accuse a person without knowing the specifics of the lunch.
Great excerpt, Lee. I love your books.
As for the situation, like you, it wouldn't occur to me to not go up and chat with my friend's SO if they were in public.
On the other hand, were there something that led me to believe this was a clandestine meeting, and the SO was cheating on my friend...if this really is a friend, I would have to mention what I saw.
If the situation were reversed, I would want to know, for so many reasons, not the least of which is health-related. Because assuming they are in a long-term exclusive relationship, adding an unknown person into the mix creates unacceptable health-risks. That's almost the business side of things, but in and of itself, it justifies talking to my friend.
Hugs...and thanks Jean for bringing us Lee!
MY instinct would be not to tell, but what if the SO tells his partner thy saw you? your friend might then ask why you didn't mention it? Smacks of a rock and a hard place.
Best wishes with your new book.
I'm not the kind of person to automatically assume the worst. I'd probably do what you said - walk up and say hi. Why meddle more than that? I'm a firm believer that people discover things when they're meant to. By interfering, we make ourselves look like gossipy idiots. Sometimes the best course of action is to do nothing at all.
Your book sound great! Nice twist on it!! Wishing you all the best :)
Well this actually happened to me the first time I was living in Germany (Army)I was a lot younger then;-) My husband who is not a gossip but actually saw my best friends husband cheating and normally if it was someone else he wouldn't have even told me but because she was my best friend he told me and I actually didn't run and tell her I thought I would but couldn't, the only reason I told her was she was one day going I'm such a bad wife because of this and that and making him seem all sainted so I told her and of course she did what I didn't think she would do she at first believed me but must have went home said something to him and ended up not believing it and so every time I saw him he would give me the dirtiest looks and it was so awkward and my friends and my friendship was never the same. Years later she told me he treated her so bad and of course he had always cheated but it got so much worse (babies, not hers) they're not together today of course but I would probably think extra hard if I was going to tell a friend again.
Aw, Leaundra- It's such a difficult choice to make. We each have to let our conscience guide us in these matters!
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