TEN THINGS NOT TO
SAY TO A ROMANCE WRITER… AND THE SNAPPY ANSWERS
YOU MIGHT RECEIVE IF YOU DO.
1. Did
you model that character after me?
No, you’re too boring to be a character in my book.
No, you’re too boring to be a character in my book.
2. Did
you get your plot from a TV program?
No, that’s called theft of intellectual property.
No, that’s called theft of intellectual property.
3. Are
you going to put what I just said in a book?
Maybe, but you’ll never know, will you?
Maybe, but you’ll never know, will you?
4. Who
did you fashion your characters after?
No one, they are fiction, remember?
No one, they are fiction, remember?
5. Did
that really happen?
No, that’s called nonfiction.
No, that’s called nonfiction.
6. Where
do you get your ideas from?
I buy them at the corner store along with my crack, Oxycotin and diet pills.
I buy them at the corner store along with my crack, Oxycotin and diet pills.
7. Does
your mother know you write this stuff?
Yes, and she’s buying copies for all her friends for Christmas.
Yes, and she’s buying copies for all her friends for Christmas.
8. Do
people actually buy your books?
Yes, I’ve got the royalty checks to prove it.
Yes, I’ve got the royalty checks to prove it.
9. I
could write something like this…it isn’t hard.
Go ahead…I dare you
10. This isn’t real literature, you know.
Really? That’s what it’s classified as by the government (when you file for a copyright)
Thank you for stopping by. Which was your favorite? I love comments. Have a great day.
Go ahead…I dare you
10. This isn’t real literature, you know.
Really? That’s what it’s classified as by the government (when you file for a copyright)
Thank you for stopping by. Which was your favorite? I love comments. Have a great day.
4 comments:
I absolutely love #10; I have a friend who writes thrillers and she gets the same type of comments.
#9 yep, I dare 'em!
The characters in my first book are Baby Boomers, and lots of people have asked, "Which character are you?" Answer: NONE. I'm a happily married woman!
#10 is my favorite on your list.
#10 Some of the books we now call literature were considered scandalous waste of paper in their time. It didn't mean people didn't like them, they did.
Tom Jones (not the singer, the book) is a prime example. The Marriage List might end up being required reading. :)
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