GRIFF MONTGOMERY VS. PETRO SHEVENKO IN THE GREAT BREAKFAST FOOD DEBATE!

THE GREAT BREAKFAST FOOD DEBATE CONTINUES HERE...
(Caution, crude locker room language.)

Griff: "Just wondering why you couldn't tell if the players were men or women. Maybe hockey players don't have dicks? "*laughs* "That's why you can't see 'em. Hey is this pussy, kasha stuff always this color? Where are my eggs?" *Waitress nods.*" That's okay, honey." *winks at waitress*. "Serve the temperamental hockey dickless wonder first."

PETRO SHEVENKO

Petro:  "Trust me, footballer, we have dicks. And balls as well. And a Cup to put them in. Yes, it is always that color. Stop whining like mulish child and eat. These eggs are not scrambled, they are fried and loose."*wrinkles nose and prods at eggs with fork*

Griff: "Honey, could you please take that away and bring some scrambled eggs, with ham. And make them hard? Thanks. " *Turns to Petro* "At least something on your side of the table will be hard besides your head." *chuckles*"So you're fully equipped? You put it in a cup? "*bursts into laughter* " Why hide it? We wear cups too, but no one would aim at a guys dick. Guess lowlife hockey players do that. Shoot the puck at his dick, and then get the rebound and score while the guy in on the ground writhing in pain. Not really a sport, is it? Hey, bring me some maple syrup, brown sugar, strawberries and any other berries you have. Have to do some to this pussy food." *Makes a face* "Thanks, honey." *Smiles at the waitress*

Petro: "You would be funny if you were not so stupid. I meant the greatest trophy in the world, Lord Stanley`s Cup. And if you said bad words about The Cup, I will make your face even uglier." *raises fist*

Griff: *Raises palm*"No, no, I never say bad stuff about a trophy. Maybe just the dickless wonders who compete for it."

Petro: "You are not as stupid as you look. "*lowers fist and glances at waitress* "At least they make the coffee right. Your trophy is okay as well."

Griff: "Damn straight it is. And we get rings, too. What about you? *Piles on the maple syrup, berries and adds sugar*. This shit isn't so bad, when you fix it up a little. You think I look stupid? We go to a bar and I'll bet you more women come over to me than you. They love the way I look. Football is sexy, Americans know that."

Petro: "Yes, we too get rings when we win. Big ones with many diamonds." *cuts off some egg* "This is not all that bad. It still tastes like chicken ass. Ha-ha. That is funny! It is known American women love men from other countries. Just listen to my accent and tell me it is not sexiest sounding thing you hear ever."

GRIFF MONTGOMERY

Griff: "I've never tasted a chicken's ass." *laughs, takes a spoonful of oatmeal.*" Not so bad. Yeah, they love accents but they love hairy chests and tight abs. I can get laid five times with five different women in one night, if I want to."

Petro: "I have not either, but I think it tastes like egg. True, women love hairy chest and tight abs. Many tell me so when I am bedding one after another. I am like Russian bear. Go from one hot she-bear to another." *takes a small bite of egg*

Griff: "Ha ha! I've never fu—"

*Jean shouts from next booth* "GRIFF!!"\

"I've never had sex with an animal. It's illegal here. Does your Coach know you're screwing willdlilfe?"

Petro:  "HA!"*hits table with hand* "You should see my woman when I am giving her good love. She claws and bites like Russian she-bear in heat. It is because I have huge dick. *someone swats the back of Petro`s head* Ouch!" *looks up*"Oh, hello beloved. Griff, this is my love Margarite. And who is this other pretty lady?"

Griff: *Griff smiles sheepishly as his woman stares hard at him*" This is Lauren, my beautiful woman." She opens her mouth to speak, but he holds up his hand." I haven't said a word about the size of your...oh, uh. Never mind. Nice to meet you, Margarite. Have some eggs."

Petro: *slides over to let Margarite sit beside him*" She does not hear, so you must look at her face when talk. Nice to meet you, Lauren. Your man is having oatmeal and liking it so good. It will make him bear in bed."

Griff: "I'm already a lion in bed, right Lauren? "*Griff picks up plate and offers to Margarite. Lauren blushes* “See, she's speechless. Never had such good loving as she gets from me."

*Lauren picks up spoon with oatmeal on it and shoves it in Griff's mouth.*

Petro: *Margarite begins signing* "She says I talk much and say nothing. Wait. No! I say much good today. Ha! Your woman spoon feeds you like big baby!"

Griff: *tries to talk, but his mouth is stuffed.

Lauren:"He is a big baby. My big baby. "*Lauren pats his cheek as he chews.* "Have you been good today? Jean is shaking her head. Why is she doing that? *Griff shrugs and blushes*

Petro: "I knew he was big baby. And yes, I have been good. Do not look at me with evil eyes. Ask Vicki. *Margarite turns around to look at Vicki who shakes her head*

Lauren: "What are you eating, Griff? Is that oatmeal?" *Footballer nods.*" What did you put on it?"

Griff: "Maple syrup, brown sugar, fruit butter, and it's still...yucky."

Lauren: *laughs*Petro got you to eat oatmeal? That's a feat. No bacon and eggs?"

*Griff wipes chin* "Bring on the real man food. I've had enough of that baby mush. Pussy food."

Lauren:"Did you say pussy?" *stares hard at Griff*

Griff:"Oops. Sorry."

*Margarite`s eyebrows rise*

Petro:"He did well considering how he whimpered like toddler before food come. I too have tried the American breakfast. It is not bad. Not as good as Olaf`s kasha, but not bad."

*Margarite begins to sign. Petro nods*

“She says we are losing time. No. Making time short. No.Short on time! Ha! I am good with the English."

Griff: "Yeah, about as good as your judgment on breakfast food." *laughs*

Petro:" You will laugh out other side of face when that kasha kicks in. Your woman will wonder where mealy little football man went when she finds herself under a wild bear. Ouch! Why do you pinch me? *looks at Margarite who is gesticulating madly* "Ah. She says I am making big talk with no brains. Ha! Wait . . ."

Griff:" I'm already a wild stallion. A lion in the bedroom! If I get any wilder, she'll need a whip to tame me. Hmm. Interesting idea. Or maybe I could try it out on hockey players?"

Petro: "A horse ass perhaps."*Looks down at Margarite tapping his thick arm* "Yes, beloved. We are both horse asses? No, you did not read my lips good."

*Margarite throws her hands into the air*

Griff: "I guess she'll do the whipping. Whipping you into shape that is!" *chuckles as Lauren stands up and points to watch.* "Guess that means I have to go. Some of us have winning records to defend. Time for practice."

Petro: "Ballet practice? "*snickers*

Griff: M"y thighs are too muscular for tights. Perhaps you'd like a tutu in blue?"

Petro: "Your thighs are like little girl thighs. Why do you pinch me so?"

*Margarite tugs on his arm*

Petro: "Oh, yes, it is time to go. Griff must get his tutu and slippers."

Griff: "So you know about little girl thighs? I only sleep with women, not little girls.*Lauren glares at Griff.*

Petro: "No, you do not get joke. Russian humor is not good in English. I mean you have legs like skinny girl. Now hockey players have real man legs. Yes, stop pulling on me. I know it is time to go. "*Stands and extends hand to Griff*"Spasibo."

Griff: *Shakes hand* "Balls to the wall, Petro."

Petro: "Yes, balls to the wall, Griffin Montgomery. When I think of you, I shall always think of chicken ass."*walks off chuckling with arm draped over Margarite`s shoulder*

Griff: "Mush man."*Laces fingers with Lauren and heads for the parking lot.*

Vicki: *Vicki looks at Jean over cup of decaf* Well that went better than I expected. No blood was shed so that`s always a plus!"

Jean: "Yes, and they ate a good breakfast. No need to call 911 for police, riot squad or ambulance. Not bad." *lets out a breath.*

Vicki: " I bet the next time a Wildcat and King get together it will be over eggs and oatmeal!"*laughs*

Jean: "Maybe. Or perhaps they need to discuss dinner? Footballers love steak. What do hockey players eat?"

Vicki: "Dinner would be great! Maybe Buddy could join Veikko for a night of fine dining out at the Aho mansion. Oh, lots of high quality carbs, lean protein and tons of veggies. And if they have grandmothers named Olaf, porridge made from buckwheat."

Jean: *laughs heartily* "High class Veikko vs. lower-class Buddy would be a lot of fun!"

Vicki: "Sounds like a date!"

 CLICK TO GO TO PART ONE

Thank you for joining us. This idea came from the brilliant mind of Vicki Locey. Thank you, Vicki for inspiring this fun post. 

GET PETRO'S BOOK, LANGUAGE OF LOVE, HERE

GET GRIFF'S BOOK, GRIFF MONTGOMERY, QUARTERBACK, HERE

TUESDAY TALES - WORD PROMPT "TWENTY"

Welcome! This week's prompt is "twenty". I'm continuing Maggie's Story. Don't forget to go back to Tuesday Tales for awesome stories! 

*************

Maggie pulled the sheet up to cover her chest, then sat up, resting her elbows on  her knees. John smoothed his palm down her bare back.

“What’s to become of us? We can’t carry on in their home. I guess we’ll have to sneak away now and then.”

“We’re together every day, Sweetheart.”

“Not really. You’re driving, I’m cleaning. You’re running errands, I’m cooking.”

“Just like any husband and wife. Then we’ll have evening time together.”

“Where? Where will we go? Your room or mine?”

John chuckled. Maggie slapped his leg gently.

“Stop. You know what I mean. Not for lovin’, just to talk. Watch TV. Like regular folk. We’re not regular folk. We’re servants.”

She sighed.
“Maybe, if we shared a bedroom, they’d let us turn the other one into a sitting room?”

“Fancy that!” She laughed. “I’m sure they’d find some use for that extra room.”

“You don’t know The Roberts long. I’ve been with them for two years. They’re not like that. Besides. If they make it nice for us, we’ll stay.”

Maggie turned to face John. “I’m not moving in with you, to live together in sin. Nope.” She shook her head.

“Then marry me,” John cupped her cheek.   

Maggie’s eyes watered as silence filled the room.

“Oh come on. You wouldn’t've spent the night if you didn’t care for me. You’re not one of those easy girls.”

John passed a tissue to her and Maggie wiped her eyes.

“I’m not. But what if we have a child? Where will we live? We can’t stay there.”

“We’ll save our money. And when junior comes along, we’ll have enough to get our own place.”

“You want a child?”

“With you, Maggie? Delightful. Heavenly.”

She grinned. “You’re such a silly man. How could I marry someone so silly?”

“How could you not?”

Maggie lay back down, snuggling her head into his shoulder. John leaned over and kissed her neck.

“Fancy a repeat?” He whispered. She nodded.

Later, they toted egg sandwiches and coffee to the beach. It was eight o’clock in the morning. They had the shore to themselves.

“How do you want to do it? Tell them or sneak off on our own?” He asked, offering her a sandwich.
“On our own. My mum'd say we don’t have a chance.”

“Really?” He cocked an eyebrow.

“You don’t know me.”

“Are you a serial killer? Bank robber? Con woman?”

She shook her head.

“Good.”

“How long d'you think it'll last?” She asked.

“I wasn’t really thinking much beyond the first twenty. But I’d guess a good fifty years or so.”

Maggie laughed. “Fifty. That’s all?”

“Til death then. That do it?”
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MEET GRIFF MONTGOMERY - 20 QUESTIONS FAST INTERVIEW

Hey, Griff Montgomery, Quarterback, here. I'm being interviewed today. I hate interviews, but Coach Bass says I have to do them, so here I am. I made Sandy Powell, Sports Reporter for the Monroe Journal, promise to do the simplest interview possible. Here it is, world's fastest 20 question interview. Thanks for coming. Hope you've got my book and come to my games.

   1.      Chocolate or vanilla? Chocolate, or course. 

   2.     Airplane or train?      Train, I take too many planes.

   3.     Walking or driving?  Driving.

   4.     Red or Blue?              Blue, a boy color.

 

   5.     Country or Rock?     Rock.

   6.     Dog or cat?                 Dog. Pug to be exact. 

   7.     Lemonade or Iced Tea?  Girly drinks. Beer for me.

   8.     Vodka or Whiskey?    Whiskey. Man's drink.

   9.     Mounds or Almond Joy? What are those? Are they dirty?
           Uh, if it's body parts, mounds, for sure. *laughs*

   10.   Action movies or Thrillers? Action.

   11.   Men – brunette or blond?    Brunette, like me.

   12.   Women – brunette, blonde or redhead? Lauren's a brunette.

   13.    Steak or lobster?  Steak - man food.

   14.    French fries or Salad? Are you kidding me? Fries, definitely.

   15.    Pistachios or Peanuts?  Peanuts.

   16.    Beer or Wine? Beer, of course.

   17.    Beach or Mountains? Both.

   18.    Oatmeal or scrambled eggs? Eggs. Oatmeal is for pussies.

   19.    Sausage or Bacon? Both.

   20.    Pretty or Witty? Both - that's Lauren. Sexy, too. *laughs*.

  

     AMAZON

       BARNES & NOBLE

     ITUNES/APPLE

     SECRET CRAVINGS (ALL  FORMATS)

     KOBO

     PAPERBACK

He wanted a wife. She didn’t want to get married – ever.  Not exactly a match made in heaven. Ten years ago, Griff Montgomery, star quarterback of the Kings and womanizer, became a stand-in father for his widowed sister’s kids. After they moved away, Griff wanted his own family. But where does a “player” go to find his ideal mate?

Having sworn off marriage forever, Lauren Farraday barely kept her life together after her divorce. With her career shaky and depression closing in, the last thing she needed was a courtroom battle with a sexy athlete.

Wary of Griff’s reputation with women, and hiding a secret, Lauren holds on to her heart.  Can the quarterback handle the truth or will he walk away, like he has in the past?      

Love comments. Please share your thoughts.
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TUESDAY TALES - WORD PROMPT - SANDWICH

**

Welcome! This week we continue with Maggie's story. Don't forget to visit the spectacular writers for Tuesday Tales. Link is at the end of this post. 

*****

    Mr. and Mrs. Roberts jetted off to Puerto Rico for a weekend, leaving Maggie and John in charge of little Penn. A rambunctious two-year-old, he required two to watch him. Maggie found herself falling into the role of parent with ease. John made a fun-loving dad, which surprised her.

    As a reward for giving up their weekend, The Roberts gave them both two days off and the use of the car.

    “Let’s drive to Montauk. It’s supposed to be beautiful there. Beach, ocean, and lobster. What say, Maggie, my girl? Are you game?”

    “Separate rooms?”

    "Of course,” he chuckled.

    “You’re on.”

    John loaded the luggage into the car. She had a  tearful parting with young Penn, who threw a tantrum as she left the house. John had to pull her away gently from the screaming child.

    Once they hit the Long Island Expressway, Maggie began to relax. It wasn’t long before there was a traffic jam.

    “How about lunch?” She said.

    “Lunch?”

    “I packed a hamper for us. The Missus said I could.”

    “I am a bit peckish. What’ve you got in there?”

    “Beautiful sandwiches –black forest ham, avocado, thin slice of tomato and the finest fresh red leaf lettuce.”

    “Gads. Sounds mouth-watering.” John put the car in park while Maggie handed him half a sandwich.

    “And raspberry iced tea, too.”

    “Oh, the Americans are so ignorant about tea,” John bemoaned.

    “You can say that again. But this is passable.”

    “I’ll take your word for it.”

    They reached the small motel just before dinnertime. John took Maggie to a clam shack by the sea.

    “Tell me about your family,” she asked, dipping her clam in the melted butter.

    “I’m one of ten.”

    “Ten? I thought our family was big.”

    “They don’t miss me, I’m sure.”

    “But your mum?”

    “Mum was wonderful. But she died five years ago. My sister Agnes has taken over running the place.”        

    “Do ya like her?”

    He made a face. “Never a favorite of mine.”

    After dinner they walked hand in hand on the beach. Maggie hiked up her skirt and waded in the surf. John followed. A wave that didn’t look too strong, knocked into her, throwing her down on top of John. They laughed as the water soaked them completely.

    She rolled over, her knees in the soft sand between his legs. He snaked his arm about her waist, while his hand cupped her head. Slowly he lowered her lips to his. On her elbows, Maggie sank down farther in the sand until she was lying, full weight on him.

    “You’re lovely,” John murmured before capturing her mouth again.

    Maggie’s reserve melted in the warm, salty water. She kissed him with enthusiasm. He helped her up. They returned to the motel to change into dry clothes. Sharing a snifter of brandy with John in the moonlight by the ocean, Maggie’s heart opened to the man who treated her like the Queen of England. 
"A bit wasteful, payin' for two rooms, don't you think?" She asked, looking up into his eyes. 

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TUESDAY TALES - PROMPT "KEY" MAGGIE'S STORY CONTINUES

Welcome! We're back this week with more of Maggie's story. The word prompt is "key". Thanks for coming. Don't forget to read the other stories by fine writers. Click on the link below to return to Tuesday Tales.  

********

“Mr. Roberts isn’t feeling well, Maggie. I’m not going to join you at the farmer’s market. Could you make him some chicken soup?”

“Of course Missus. Do I have to drive?”

“John will drive you.” Anne Roberts smiled then went to attend her husband and son.

Maggie made a face. Have to ride with that bloke?

John opened the back door of the Mercedes for her, then slid behind the wheel.

“I feel stupid riding back here,” Maggie shifted in her seat.

“You want to sit next to me?”

“Pfft! I’d rather walk.”

“Six miles there and back?”

“Anything to get away from you.”

“I’m not all that bad, am I?”

“You…you took liberties.”

“Can I help it if I was overcome by the lure of a pretty woman.”

“Bosh! Think you’re such a charmer, don’t you?”

John chuckled. “Not with you, I’d guess.”

“I’m on to your wily ways.”

He pulled into the parking lot of the farmer’s market, and opened the car door before Maggie could.

“Don’t be doin’ that. People’ll be starin’.”

“It’s my job.”

“Just quit it, okay?” Maggie slapped his arm lightly. “Wait in the car. I won’t be long.”

The booth with fresh flowers was bursting with blooms in bright pink, deep red and pure white. Maggie plucked a bouquet of summer flowers in an array of colors for Anne.

Next was the cheese booth, a very white counter with a few cheeses on display. Maggie moved easily from booth to booth, picking up fresh carrots, celery and onions for chicken soup. After buying two loaves of fresh rye bread and a Pullman white for Mr. Roberts, her arms were full. On her way to the car, she tripped. The bags of vegetables popped up from her arms and landed on the grass, spilling onions everywhere. The breads bounced. An attractive, middle-aged man bent down.

“Let me help you.”

“I’ve got it,” she said, giving him a suspicious glance, while she gathered up vegetables.

“A pretty girl like you? Your keys.”

Maggie frowned. Masher.

Before she could utter a word, someone else spoke.

“Back off.” She turned to see John standing behind her with the loaves of bread in one hand.

“I saw her first.”

“That’s what you think. I’m adept at fisticuffs. Run along.”

“Fisticuffs?” The man laughed.

John fisted his free hand and swung it into the man’s belly. He bent over, gasping for air.

“I warned you. Come along Maggie,” he said.

She gathered up the last few carrots and let John lead her away.

“Never fear, my dear. When you’re with me, you’re safe.”

She looked at him with raised eyebrows. “Maybe, but who’ll keep me safe from you?”

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