10 THINGS NOT TO SAY TO A ROMANCE WRITER...

10 THINGS NOT TO SAY TO A ROMANCE WRITER… AND THE SNAPPY ANSWERS  YOU MIGHT RECEIVE IF YOU DO.

  1.     Did you model that character after me?

a.     No, you’re too boring to be a character in my book.

  2.     Did you get your plot from a TV program?

a.     No, that’s called theft of intellectual property.

  3.     Are you going to put what I just said in a book?

a.     Maybe, but you’ll never know, will you?

  4.     Who did you fashion your characters after?

a.     No one, they are fiction, remember?

  5.     Did that really happen?

a.     No, that’s called nonfiction.

  6.     Where do you get your ideas from?

a.     I buy them at the corner store along with my crack, heroin and diet pills.

  7.     Does your mother know you write this stuff?

a.     Yes, and she’s buying copies for all her friends for Christmas.

  8.     Do people actually buy your books?

a.     Yes, I’ve got the royalty checks to prove it.

  9.     I could write something like this…it isn’t hard.

a.     Go ahead…I dare you!

  10.  This isn’t real literature, you know.

a.     Really? That’s what it’s classified as by the United States government (when you file a copyright.)

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TUESDAY TALES - PICTURE PROMPT - HIS LEADING LADY

Last week, we found Mark Davis mooning over Penny Thatcher. This week, Mark is on a double date with her and his arrogant teammate, Darvin Sweetwater, star quarterback. Sweetwater has already propositioned Penny and scared the living daylights out of her. He drops cab fare on the table at the restaurant and leaves with Mark's date, Tiffany.

HIS LEADING LADY

“Here’s for your cab. You’re one hot chick.” Darvin and Tiffany stood up together. “I’ll see you on the field, Davis. Better watch your back…bro.” Sweetwater laughed as he and Tiffany left the restaurant.

Penny twirled the twenty dollar bill in her hand. Her gaze dropped to her hands then up to her water glass. She folded, unfolded and refolded the bill.Oh my God. She’s afraid of me.  

“Hey, look. Do whatever makes you comfortable,” Mark said, resting his hand on hers lightly for only a moment.She jumped, fear evident in her eyes. 

“I’m not going to hurt you, try to take advantage of you…anything. I’m a regular guy. I’ve got a sister. I like women, respect ‘em.”Penny continued to twist the twenty in her hands. “I’d better go.” “If that’s what you want. But I’m going to have another cup of coffee and I was considering dessert.”Penny turned frightened eyes on him as she began to stand up.She looks like a deer caught in the headlights. Make her feel safe, you idiot! 

“No, no, real dessert. I hear they have great hot fudge here. How about splitting a hot fudge sundae with me? Three scoops – all your choice. Or you can catch a taxi if that makes you feel safer.” 

Penny sat down and blew out a breath. “I love hot fudge. How did you know?”“Everybody loves hot fudge, especially me.” He smiled at her and signaled to the waitress who came over right away. She rattled off six flavors of ice cream.

 “You choose,” Mark said, gesturing to her with his hand.“I like ‘em all.”“Hmm, let’s see. Mint chip for sure, vanilla and how about coffee?” She turned to look at Mark. 

“Sounds good. Whipped cream and two cherries, please.”

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