10 THINGS NOT TO SAY TO A ROMANCE WRITER… AND THE SNAPPY ANSWERS YOU MIGHT RECEIVE IF YOU DO.
1. Did you model that character after me?
a. No, you’re too boring to be a character in my book.
2. Did you get your plot from a TV program?
a. No, that’s called theft of intellectual property.
3. Are you going to put what I just said in a book?
a. Maybe, but you’ll never know, will you?
4. Who did you fashion your characters after?
a. No one, they are fiction, remember?
5. Did that really happen?
a. No, that’s called nonfiction.
6. Where do you get your ideas from?
a. I buy them at the corner store along with my crack, heroin and diet pills.
7. Does your mother know you write this stuff?
a. Yes, and she’s buying copies for all her friends for Christmas.
8. Do people actually buy your books?
a. Yes, I’ve got the royalty checks to prove it.
9. I could write something like this…it isn’t hard.
a. Go ahead…I dare you!
10. This isn’t real literature, you know.
a. Really? That’s what it’s classified as by the United States government (when you file a copyright.)
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