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Monday, March 31, 2014


Welcome to my Tuesday Tales story. This is a new story, a new WIP that will someday be a book. Thank you for coming.
Evan Montgomery hugged his niece, Kathy, for the last time.
“Not so hard.”
“It has to last you a long time, young lady.”
“Aren’t you coming to visit soon, like you promised?”
"We’ll see.” She made a pouty face.
“You always say that when you mean ‘no’.” She stamped her foot and crossed her arms.
“Katherine Marie Thomas, have you walked Pookie and given your suitcase to Ian? Her mother, Tina, shooed the fourteen-year-old outside.
“Where’s Joey?” Evan looked around the living room, a few pieces were on their way to San Francisco, making the room feel incomplete. Nina had remarried. Her new husband, Ian Emerson, had taken a position with Global Tech Systems and was taking his new family with him.
“It’s Joe, now, Uncle Evan.”
“Oh, yeah. Sorry, sorry.” He ruffled the fifteen-year-old’s hair. At six four, Evan stood almost a whole head taller than the teen. Evan pulled the boy to him for a quick hug. Tears stung at the back of his eyes.
Ever since Jack Thomas had died on 9/11 in the World Trade Center, Evan had taken over and become a father to his sister’s two children. Reparations to the family, as well as Evan’s salary as starting quarterback for the Connecticut Kings, kept them in style while they recovered from their stunning loss.
“Please check on your sister. She’s supposed to be walking Pookie.” Joe nodded,waved to his uncle and left.
“Now, you, Mister.”
"I’ll be fine, Tina.”
“I want you to have your own life, for a change. Get married, have kids.”
“Wave your magic wand and make miss perfect appear,” he chuckled.
“Mom! Come on. We’re ready,” Joe called.
Blinking rapidly, Tina hugged her brother. “Thank you doesn’t cover it, Evan. I…I…”
"I know,” he said, patting her on the back.

In an instant she was down the stairs, behind the wheel, and pulling the overloaded car out of the driveway. Evan stood at the window. He raised his hand and rested it on the glass.
A pain shot through his chest. His breathing became shallow as a lump in his throat cut off his air. The silence overwhelmed him.



Iris B said...

Well done on the emotions. Great start of a new story!

V.L. Locey said...

A new sports romance! Yippee! Awesome emotional range in that snippet. Can`t wait to read more!

Lindsay said...

Great emotion here.

Jillian said...

wow. I love it. Especially the last paragraph. Well done- I could feel the emotion coming off the page.

Sarah Cass said...

How heartbreaking. I know he's happy for him, but I feel his loneliness at their departure. Well done.

writerszenblog said...

Great new story beginning here. In just a few short paragraphs you've set up the whole story & let us know what we needed to know. Plus, with the great dialogue and emotion, have us already connected to the people.
Trisha Faye

SherryGLoag said...

This opening sure has me wanting to know more.

morgan said...

I'm worried about Evan. Great parting scene.

Stefan Ellery said...

Great job with the emotions.

kathleen ball said...

In love with Evan already

Tricia Andersen said...

I'm sucked in at the very beginning - great job!